Julia Child Walked So That I Could Run
Continuing my cooking journey as a 38-year-old intern
While our stories around our connection to cooking differ, they do have two themes in common: Paris and embracing the unknown.
We both deepened our relationship with food and cooking in Paris, it’s where food went beyond nourishing our bodies. The act of cooking for ourselves and others enriched our souls. It become our language of self-love and communal care.
In 1949, at 37 years old, Julia Child solidified that love by enrolling at the French cooking school Le Cordon Bleu.
Now, 75 years later, in 2024 at 38, I’m solidifying my love by interning at Gramme Paris 11.
HOW IT STARTED
The universe has a funny way of making me put into practice the things that come out of my mouth. Shortly after my first newsletter on rewriting false narratives, an Instagram story forced me to practice what I preach or risk being someone who just talks a lot of shit. Kind of in the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ way.
For years I’ve toyed with the idea of getting restaurant experience. Well, it was more than just an idle thought, it was a nagging feeling. But even with two successful pop-ups and over a dozen Dinner for One Supper Club dinners under my belt, I remained my harshest critic. Does that sound familiar to anyone?
Here are some of the things I told myself:
“You don’t have enough experience.”
“You’re just a home cook.”
“You didn’t go to culinary school, you won’t be taken seriously.”
“You’re too old”
And the most damaging lie? Believing that I simply lacked the ability.
Those false narratives found a comfy couch in my head, chose a cozy location, and sat tight spitting out damaging and hurtful thoughts until fate intervened with an Instagram story from Gramme looking for a new stagiaire (intern). I couldn’t fight the nagging feeling anymore, so I shot off an email, and before I knew it, on a sunny, yet uncharacteristically cold day in April I started my first day in a professional kitchen.
HOW IT’S GOING
At the end of my first week, I WAS TIRED. Yet, it was a rewarding exhaustion–an exhaustion that comes from working with my hands and seeing the tangible results of creativity, knowledge, and dedication at the end of every shift. During service, when the kitchen is in the zone, orders are coming in at a rapid speed and we’re on fire (figuratively) the flow is like a finely tuned symphony hitting every note with precision. It’s hard work but within it lies a profound sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.
My focus, shaper than ever, leaves no room for mindless scrolling. The demands of the kitchen don’t accept or allow it. I literally have no time. I simply cannot. A single missed order disrupts the kitchen flow and throws it off the balance. C’est pas bien ça. My work and focus is a constant reminder of the collective effort required for success in the kitchen.
Yes, the pressure is real.
No, it’s not like The Bear.
I’m sure many restaurants foster those kinds of environments, but so far that has not been my experience. What I’ve experienced is that kindness and respect reign supreme. Excellence is expected and there is pride in the food served and its presentation, but not at the expense of one’s mental health and confidence. The chef has returned a few plates to me with an expression that said, “GIRL, ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!” That’s not a direct quote, but that was the vibe, and rightfully so. The plates were not up to standard.
My daily tasks may seem mundane—plating desserts, peeling potatoes, picking herbs, etc—but they serve as learning tools, lessons in humility, and growth as I take it all in and absorb as much as I can.
WHAT’S NEXT
Like Julia, I have no clue. She didn’t publish her first book until 1961! 12 years after she started culinary school!
The goal of the internship is to improve my culinary skills and challenge myself, I am not one to rest on my laurels. But what will happen after this? Who knows, but what I do know is that I feel good and I’m happy. I’m honing my creative skills, feeding people, and taking a risk/ chance on myself. I will approach the unknown with an open heart and embrace adventure like Julia did and see where it takes me.
I often think that the fear of making a mistake, looking stupid, or not being seen as an all-knowing adult who has figured everything out stops us from exploring; trying; changing. I know this isn’t a revolutionary thought or statement but sometimes it’s good to say it out loud. The thing is, you don’t know what you don’t know until you know it and you won’t know it until you try.
At the end of the day, all we can do is bet on ourselves and at least try.
In closing, I’ll leave you with a poem from Joy Sullivan’s book Instructions for Traveling West.
Even If
Even if foolhardy, ill-advised, or half-mad.
Even if you do not yet understand your own reasons and the waves are at your throat.
Even if leaving guts your heart to its last thrumming fiber.
Even still, go and let this life eat you to the bone.
Did that sink in?
GOOOOOOOO AND LET THIS LIFE EAT YOU TO THE BONE.
THE MEAL
My first dinner for one after starting the stage was grilled chicken thigh drizzled with paprika oil (here goes that internship coming in handy! :) ), herbed stacked potatoes with toum, a Lebanese garlic sauce that I love.
The recipe is coming soon.
C'est pas bien ça!!!
Truly an iconic quote, from an inspiring lady.
Keep on, keeping on, Sue!
Curiosity, adventures and knowledge, what else! 💙✨️