10 Things I’ve Learned Since Starting the Dinner for One Supper Club
How a seemingly simple series of monthly dinners cracked open my world and heart.
Since February 2002, every month between September and June, I’ve gathered groups of single women into my home and around my table to feast on food and their fabulous, full lives. All the women have to do is show up with a bottle of wine, and I take care of the rest: a cocktail, hors d'oeuvres, starter, main, and dessert.
I recently hosted my 26th gathering—that’s 3 full seasons of Dinner for One Supper Club—and I almost can’t believe it. What was meant to be just four or five dinners in my colorful, quirky (aka falling apart in that romantically European kind of way) Montmartre apartment has turned into a movement of sorts.
It’s disheartening that single women are still sidelined in the year of our Lord 2025. The depth of their lives is not given any attention, and unless the main focus of their life is changing their relationship status, their dreams and goals are often mere afterthoughts. A single woman’s acceptance of her life as it is and her stubborn insistence to be seen as a whole human being seems to still be a threat to established norms. I can’t change thousands of years of patriarchal tradition and programming with the snap of a finger (but oh, how I wish I could). So, I decided to create something that I believe all single women should have access to: a space where they feel cared for, special, celebrated, validated, and allowed to simply be, without explanation or apology.
Et voilà, the Dinner for One Supper Club was born.
What I didn’t expect was how much it would give back to me. I had no idea that opening my door to groups of single women would crack open my world and heart. It deepened how I see this stage of life, reshaped how I see myself, and reconfirmed that when women come together in community, it’s simply powerful.
Here are ten things I’ve learned:
1. Lead With Your Heart, But Don’t Be a Ding-Dong
As women, we must take accountability for how much we accept. We all know what it feels like when someone actually likes you. We all know how it looks, sounds, and most importantly, feels. None of us are immune to getting ourselves into tricky situations from time to time (queen of tricky here 🙋🏾♀️), but the onus is on us not to allow anyone to waste our time. Why should we audition or beg for the care, affection, attention, kindness, and love we deserve?
Ladies all over the world, it’s time to tighten up! All the things we accept end up being the things we regret.
2. A Thoughtfully Prepared Meal is Like a Love Letter
When you cook for other people in an intimate setting, it’s a way of showing them that you see them, care for them, and want to make them happy. Especially for single women who often cook just for themselves. Through flavors and intention, every Dinner for One Supper Club gathering is my way of saying, “You matter.”
3. Women are Fucking Fabulous (can I curse on Substack? 🫣)
This is less of a learning and more of a confirmation. Whip-smart, the givers of many belly laughs, and able to dissect a situation in record time. Every dinner reminded me that being in the company of women is electric and nothing compares.
4. There’s Freedom In Imperfection
I used to apologize a lot for my mismatched plates and wine glasses and the chaos of my less-than-perfect kitchen. I was more focused on flawless execution in every way possible. I’ve stopped that.
The more relaxed I became by letting go of the pressure to have everything picture-perfect, a weight I didn’t realize I was carrying during Dinner for One Supper Club gatherings and in my everyday life was lifted. It turns out that my guests blossom and open up in spaces that feel real, raw, and unapologetically authentic, and I’m a much better version of myself when I allow myself and others to just be.
5. I Still Have Time After Turning 40
My 30s were great, and last year I’ve been reflecting on that transformative decade while also freaking myself out because there are so many things on my to-do list that I won’t accomplish before the big 4-0. And it was weighing heavily on my soul.
Over the course of last year and this year, and this season of dinners, the Dinner for One Supper Club members in their 40s have told me, and shown me, that my 30s were for building the foundation, and my 40s are when I will thrive and see the fruit of all my labor. Like them, I already have the inner peace thing down, my skin is still pretty good, and I feel good in my body. I’m just looking forward to everything else panning out the way it should.
If it doesn’t, I’m throwing hands. They’ve been warned. 😀
6. Saying “Yes” To Yourself Is Contagious
The Dinner for One Supper Club has become a place where we cheer each other on. It’s taught me that being honest about who you are and everything that comes with it takes real guts. It means choosing yourself over comfort, even when it feels scary or uncertain. Usually, that’s the first step towards a life that’s truly yours.
7. Desires Don’t Have To Be Polarizing
Being a member of the Little Rascals *insert gender of choice here* Haters Club isn’t a flex. It’s okay not to buy into the narrative that you either despise romantic relationships or obsess over finding “the one.” You can want love and also be independent without guilt or apology. After all, we‘re just human.
8. Living Your Truth Is (Also) Contagious
We are the only people who truly know our deepest and wildest dreams. Sometimes they’re embarrassing to admit to ourselves, much less aloud, but we do have the right to go after them. Witnessing and hearing about the courage many Dinner for One Supper Club members have displayed at different times in their lives in order to get what they want has given me the nudge I needed to not box myself in. If they can think and do big, so can I. Through them, I’ve learned to own my dreams, my desires, and my life fully…and live it!
9. Solo Living Can Be Deeply Communal
Dinner for One Supper Club is redefining what community looks like…no shared leases or mortgages required. Whether you’re newly single or single by choice, connection doesn’t need a romantic partner to thrive when you have a built-in group of new friends and old ones you can see at least once a month.
10. Cooking For One Saved Me, Being In Community Healed Me
When I was lost, angry, confused, and deeply, deeply sad, I started the Dinner for One podcast. It gave me purpose and a sense of control. It was a way for me to create something entirely on my own, free from any emotional and financial ties of my past marriage. The podcast became a lifeline, pulling me out of grief I didn’t think I would ever escape and helping me reconnect with myself. Writing the book was cathartic. It gave me clarity, language for a rollercoaster of emotions, and the feeling that I was finally moving forward. By the time my book was published, I believed I was healed. Done and dusted! I was ready to press play on the life I imagined: falling in love again, having a kid or two, and moving forward.
But it was through The Dinner for One Supper Club, and the incredible women who have attended those dinners, that I realized something deeper. The women whom I’ve had the privilege to host and cook for have moved across the world alone, survived inexcusable betrayals, traveled solo, and indulged in their own lives unapologetically. Despite what life threw their way, they kept going.
They helped me see that my life wasn’t paused. My life was just unfolding.
This community of women helped me build an even stronger sense of self, one rooted in joy, fun, indulgence, and spunk. They don’t know this, but the women who walked up those blue stairs, crossed the threshold into my sanctuary and shared so much of their stories and themselves, became mirrors of strength. Healing doesn’t have to happen alone, and joy can be found exactly where you are.
I used to think that I needed to reach some version of the future I imagined–romantic love, kids, a “next chapter”, to feel whole. But what I’ve come to understand is that peace and joy aren’t waiting for me somewhere out there, outside of me. They’re here, now, in this life I’ve built, the meals I’ve shared, and the woman I’ve become. (Note: I still want that country house, though. I just know that is somewhere out there waiting for me.)
And that’s the biggest lesson I have learned from Dinner for One Supper Club and the women I’ve welcomed into my home. They’ve taught me that honoring what is, instead of chasing what might be, is the most powerful way to move forward.
This is just a small sample of what I’ve learned, but it’s enough for me to declare with my whole chest that single women are worth celebrating and will no longer be ignored. Well, at least not on my watch.
For now, I’m mostly hosting dinners in Paris. But who knows where this journey will take me next? Maybe I’ll pop up in your city soon. Until then, I’ll keep these lessons close to my heart as I step into Season 4 this fall.
Thank you for being YOU, you rock. Forever cheering you on! Truly this was one of the best posts I've read on here.
Need to sign up! Beautiful reflection of your heart and the impact it has on how we feed our souls.